ROBIN RARE FOUR BY BENJAMIN TIMOTHY DYER

IDLE CHIT-CHAT AT LUNCHTIME.

The place they as a group eventually chose wasn’t that good. It seemed to focus on Kareokee.
“I could sing out to all the chicks in here, but I don’t want them to confuse me with George Michael.” Dirk announced as he took a large piece of pizza the group had ordered.
“Do you like that singer then Dirk?” Marie asked while listening to a bad singer on the go. He was singing the full version of Bat Out Of Hell.
“Come on dude give us a break. We came here to be entertained, not be sent like a Bat to hell by your bad singing!” Dirk shouted before answering dear Marie. “Yes sweetheart, I love George.”
“Do you now?” David sniggered.
“Not like that Welshman. As in, I admire his singing abilities, not his other talents thank you.”
“I can’t stand him, not after that record in the dashing eighties about dance floor and guilt.” Robin produced from his mouth in the same time Andy betched before adding. “Oh blast it, have to trot off again.”
“I hope you haven’t left anything behind dear, plastic seats this time.” Margaret added as she looked down to see if the chair needed a napkin or two.
“Careless whisper?” Marie spoke up as she found Rare’s thought pattern.
“Yes, it was often embarrassing for my dance partner, she had a prosthetic arm and I used to lead her onto the dance floor when George started up; only to find she was at the table and I just had her arm. Trouble is I dance with my eyes closed and people used to laugh at me and her.”
“No change there Rare Robin!” Dirk ribbed.
“I bet you were a good dancer though.”
“Why thank you Marie. My dance teacher said I’d be good with a partner that had two right feet to match my left pair. She rued the day when Angie came to the school and had by genetic defect two right feet. We won several awards, I think out of sympathy than fancy footwork. It worked well until George Michael came on the scene and ruined it for us.”
“Ah you are a good man Robin Rare.” Marie gave him another hug.
“Oh blast gotta work on those sympathy lines; Barbara why is it I can never find your words of wisdom when needed.”
“If you want some entertainment, I used to sing in the boys choir at school. I have great harmonics.” David offered trying to stop Dirk from talking jibberish.. “I am good at Kareokee!”
“I used to run a Kareokee show, well once I did after the guy who owned it was unexpectedly put away for drug trafficking.”
“How the hell did you get in a position to run a Kareokee show?” David asked all miffed as he always wanted to do that.
“Well it was in a place much like this in part of Brighton. I was helping out at a local musical. I was a small man and fitted in with this particular musical.”
“I know! You were one of the dwarfs out of Snow White!” David added smiling as he had solved the puzzle.
“Yeah, he was that thick one dozy!”
“The only thick one around here is you.” Marie bit back at Dirk with.
“You know I had once proper teeth.”
Marie flinched, turning her attentions back to Rare. “Oh yes, I remember you telling me after I tried tonguing you and the top pair slid into my mouth.”
“Whurr, you know how to treat your dates well Robbo. Yuk!”
“It’s only the top that are not real Dirk, apart from a few at the bottom.”
“What happened Robin as we are interest to hear the end of this tale. Though Marie probably wants to forget about it.”
Marie nodded as she took her arm away from Robin going back to listening to that awful singer.
“My top teeth I donated to Ken Dodd, after he had an argument with one of our fellow Diddy Men in a bar, got them smashed out with a beer glass. It was the man’s life, he needed those choppers to maintain his image. I for my part looked a freak without them as much as with. So I did him a favour.”
“Hold on! You told David and I at your interview that you lost your teeth in a golfing incident when you were twelve.”
“Ah, I did Marie. But I got them back after two weeks and they were put lovingly back into my mouth and grew again.”
“What’s that got to do with this kareokee night?”
“I’m getting there Dave, patience please.” David appologised as Robin went on. “Ken had a distant relative who owned a club I used to frequent. That night for kareokee this guy didn’t show and so he was left in the lurch. Ken got a call from his relative and he told him that I had a good voice on me. So There I found myself in the front line. On Kareokee night there was 8 people, after the landlord sang with me, Saving all my love for you by Renee and Renata, there was only two left. Me and the Landlord and one man who insisted on a threesome. After that the pub got a name with the Gay community. The Landlord sold up and the place changed to food and Kareokee; the name was Pandora’s Box Of Pizza Pleasures.”
Dirk clutched hold of David’s hand as he looked around him. “Isn’t that what this place is called?”
Dave too had a nervous look around him and sure enough he was getting the glad eye. “Ah, yes.”
Robin looked about him and grinned. “Well slap me with a plastic ruler until it leaves a red mark upon my forehead. It is the very place!”
“I don’t mind people are that way inclined but I am not. Race you to the door!” David said to Dirk as both help each other round the waste as they made a bid for freedom.
“Well, I’m not leaving until I’ve eaten this pizza, how about you Robin?”
“Quite right. I just hope my teeth don’t get stuck on this extra cheese topping. Oh look they already have, stuck on the edge there!”
With that the two girls left with Robin enquiring after them as to what changed their minds.
“Oh my Marie!”
“No, I’m not going to see if your teeth are in place.”
“No! That’s my old girlfriend which was really a man. Hide me!”
Marie did as she told and put her jacket over his head and felt jealous over the fact that this man had a bigger chest than she did, oh and more shapely legs.
Andy came out of the toilet to find the group gone. He sat down and found his meal along came a really attractive lady.
“Is this seat taken handsome?”
“No, feel free to share with me.”
“You are so fit looking.”
“Thank you.”
“Do you work out?”
“I cycle a lot and swim.”
“Wow!” The lady snuggled up to him. Andy did notice a lot of jealous looks from the all males around the bar part. Still he was the best looking man there, well proportioned and more of a man than they will ever be.