“That was certainly eventful having to go round to the nick and plead for Dirk’s release.”
“Hey! I was innocent, the guy took it the wrong way, that’s all. If I was guilty I’d gladly walk back into that police station and confess.”
“Walked into a police station once.”
“Gave yourself up eh?” David addressed Rare over his revelation. “Guilty for a crime lay hidden for many decades.”
“No, literally walked into the police station, as in building.”
“Come on no one walks into a police station.” Margaret added feeling tired of talk.
“I did, I kind of ran into it actually. I was told that when out running a marathon you hit walls. I was proved right. There I was running along when a man in a wheelchair suffered a blow-out in his left tyre and knocked into me sending me off and into the Police Station’s wall.”
“You are a walking disaster Robin, that’s what you are.”
“Hark at the pot calling the kettle black!” Marie shouted out laughing at Dirk the goon.
“What do you mean?”
“Marie means you are a fine one to talk after this incident and the one at the hotel last night. If I was you I’d just keep your head down and do nothing.”
“Okay Marg, I get the drift, I’ll keep a low profile.” Dirk put on his sun glasses again. “Now does anyone want to go to a night club and have a boogie?”
Marie and Marg raised their eyes heavenwards. “No, just you dear. Go on and break your neck.”
“Cheers! Just like that old superstition at the cinema, hey!”
Robin frowned. “That’s break your leg at the theatre.”
“Exactly, now come on Rare lets go and chase some chicks.”
Before Robin could protest he was yanked away.

The club thumped a load of hyped up music designed to make you dance faster, dehydrate and purchase more inflated priced drinks.
“Now let me tell you a good way to get a bird, especially if you are feeling peckish.”
“Dirk, I don’t want to know another one of your good ways to pick up women.”
“One way of getting someone's chocolate bar you fancy, is by demanding you have it as you are a diabetic and require your blood sugar level equalising now.”
“Eh?”
“Not only do you get the bar, you also get the chicks sympathy. Like that saying; killing two birds with one stone.”
“Oh don’t, it reminds me of my little chickens. I hope they have enough seed till I get home.”
“Ah, stop worrying, anyway if they die, you’ll have plenty of roasts for a while.” Dirk noticed a couple of average looking girls eyeing him up. “Hold on Rare, adjust those glasses and look over by the bar. We are about to score.”
“But all I want to do is go back to the hotel.”
Dirk slithered up to a bar stool and sat upon it next door to the babes. “So, come here often?”
“Not very often, first time actually.”
Dirk pulled a frustrated half smile. Turning round to face Rare he said, “I’m not talking to you bug face. The chicks, I’m chatting them up for us.”
“Oh I see.” He brushed past Dirk. “Hi, my name is Robin and this is Dirk, though his real name is Derek. He couldn’t spell Derek at school so Dirk kind of stuck with him. Could we buy you ladies a drink?”
The two women gave Rare a smile mixed with hesitation before accepting his offer. “Sure.”
“Two of the same of what you already have I believe.”
“Yeah.”
“So what are your names?”
Dirk was trying to get a word in here, but every time the poindextor was pushing ahead.”
“I’m Natalie and this is Sarah.”
“Do you come here often?”
“Quite often, haven’t seen you guys around here though.”
“No, I’m from a mental institute.”
Natalie who was closest backed away a little.
“Nah ladies, he runs one along with me. We are the management who have to go round picking up the mentally fallen in life.”
“Ah that’s sweet!” Sarah came out with.
“Thanks.” Dirk allowed his dazzling smile to light up the place, that's what he thinks; they look rather yellow to me from here.
“Nah, the drink is too sweet, must be yours Nat.”
“Sorry about Robin, he is one of the unluckiest guys around.”
“Are you Robbie?” Sarah asked as she ran her fingers over his face.
Speaking through them he replied; “Oh yes! I’ve had some misfortunes in my time.”
This grabbed the girls attention. “Like what?”
“Oh god do we have to!” Dirk exclaimed raising his hands to the sky just praying for divine intervention.
“Just call me the Fall Guy, like Lee Major’s.” He received a blank expression from all here so added; “Ah, it was a long time ago, in the days of black and white.”
“So, we are waiting.”
“Sorry Sarah, I was thinking of the first incident that my friend Dirk hasn’t heard. I was involved in a fire at a block of flats. I was ten storeys up and the only one in at the time. By the time the fire brigade got to me the place was a towering inferno. The ladder was out of action, so I had to jump.”
“Did you jump?” Natalie asked.
“Nah he stayed put and ended up like an overcooked oven chip.” Dirk interjected with as he was tired of this and wanted to dance with the girls. “All black and crispy.”
“They put a mattress down and told me to aim for that. Taking a large run up, I launched myself from the balcony, over shot the mattress and landed bum first onto a car aerial. Took the hospital several hours to remove it.”
“Was it a difficult operation?”
“Apparently not Sarah as it was removed in only a few minutes.”
“No hold on story boy, you said it took a few hours to remove it.” Dirk intrupted.
“It did! As it was cup final day and I had to sit there with this aerial stuck up my backside while they connected it to the television to get a good reception. Can you imagine having to bare your moon whilst perched upon a TV set for ninety minutes plus extra time.”
“Okay laughing boy, what was the other time?”
“I went out cleaning car windscreens with a squeegee at traffic light stops.”
“Now how could that prove fatal, or should I say unlucky? Didn’t get run over.”
“Did you get killed?”
Rare blinked his magnified eyes through his glasses held together by the magic that is Chemical Metal, thinking as to how to reply to Natalie. “No as I am still here.”
“Oh yeah silly me, carry on!” She said as she hid her embarrassment by dipping her head in her glass.
“One day I had been working at this for twelve hours and I spied an ambulance coming. I checked the lights were red and stepped out to clean their windscreen. I ended up being cleaned off of their windscreen myself.”
“Don’t tell me, you didn’t see their lights and failed to hear the siren as the thing went to go past you.”
“That is exactly right Dirk. So you see I am one of the unluckiest guys around, as my good friend here can testify.”
Dirk felt jealous as Robin was shown sympathy as he had to play second fiddle for the rest of the night.